Friday, October 28, 2011


My little girl is currently at a slumber party with her aunt and cousin. (The same cousin for whom I used to throw slumber parties)
As a teenager I babysat, a lot! I mean, a lot!
My favorite charges were those that belonged to the laid back parents. The ones that said, "There's a pizza cooking in the oven," and left grandma's number, "somewhere in the den." Then, they were out the door. They didn't call to check on the kiddos, and when they arrived home, I didn't feel as if I was being interrogated, they simply asked if their kids "behaved."
And then, there were the other parents. They were the ones who left two sheets of paper, the contact list, composed of at least fifteen numbers of their closest friends and families, and the complete list of everything their child does in a twenty-four hour period. Dinner had a check list for the preparations & a requirement for how much the child/children must consume. I didn't like to work for these ones so much, and I determined that when I grew up, I would be a laid back mom, I would go with the flow, and people would enjoy babysitting for me.
I've failed in that goal!
I've resisted the urge to call my sister at least eighteen times in the last few hours, and I can't help but let little nagging thoughts into my head like... "I hope she's not going to have an accident" "I hope she can sleep for them" "I hope that she doesn't cry for me" "I hope that she cries for me"
You see where I'm going.
So here I am, missing my girl, but understanding that sleepovers with her aunts are just another step in her growing process. As she grows up, she grows independent. It's difficult for me as her mother, because I grew up and I grew independent. But, now, I've willingly given up my singularity. Which is what makes it so difficult for me to watch my kids grow up. But, it is truly bittersweet. I'm saddened as they grow away from me, it also is extremely exciting and fun to watch!

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